``That always works,'' promises Jan McCawley, who tested this remedy driving six young children from Michigan to the East Coast.

``The Band-Aids will keep them busy and at least they won't make a sticky-gooey mess,'' says McCawley, who now is a grandmother and wrote to tell me about her favorite method for quelling the car monsters.

Wherever I go, parents beg for the trade secret to keep the peace on the highway and along country and suburban roads. I wish I had a formula guaranteed to work: the money would be rolling in.

Unfortunately, strategies vary not only with children's ages, but with their moods that day as well. One thing remains constant: whether it's around town, an hour ride to grandma's house or a six-hour drive, most kids, no matter what their ages, don't like being cooped up in car seats and seat belts for too long.

``It's an unnatural situation to ask kids to sit still, and babies simply are not going to sleep all the time,'' explains Joanne Oppenheim, a child-development expert and co-author with her daughter Stephanie of the just-released ``1997 Guide to More Than 1,000 Kid-Tested Best Toys, Books & Videos for Kids'' (Prima Publishing, $13).

The book offers travel toy recommendations for every age group. For example, because babies' attention spans are so short, they need a variety of toys from books to keys to mirrors to keep them amused. Some parents suggest something as simple as taping pictures of babies next to the safety seat to keep your child smiling for a while.

Under the category of ``keep their hands and brains busy,'' older preschoolers and gradeschoolers will give a thumbs up to the new magnetic boards and colorful, flexible magnet pieces from Wonderboard. Kids can mix and match pieces to create outrageous bugs or fish. Another set from Magneforms provides dozens of different-sized triangles, circles, squares and rectangles to build designs from.

Even the reluctant artists in the family won't be able to resist glow-in-the-dark crayons or markers that change colors. Keep a supply, plus a pad of paper and stickers within easy reach. Crayola has several easy-to-carry travel kits including a Mini Stamp 'N Go activity kit with stamp markers ($7.99).

Hand puppets can get the creative juices flowing, too, as can a supply of colorful, inexpensive thread for the friendship bracelet fans in your house. Keep a plastic box stocked with thread in the car. My favorite puppets are the small, fuzzy creatures from the Vermont-based Mary Meyer Company. Choose farm or forest animals as well as Santa, a snowman or a skeleton. They cost about $5.

My favorite solution for short and long rides: books on tape. You don't have to purchase them; they're available for rent at the library and video store. The kids' teachers will gladly give recommendations. Hearing ``Kidnapped'' or ``The Little Princess'' may spur a child to go back and read the book or another by the same author. The kids sometimes get so engrossed in the story, they want to keep driving. Parents enjoy the stories, too.

Look for some of the kids' favorite authors such as Gary Paulsen or Judy Blume as well as some of your childhood favorites. Here's an ideal opportunity to introduce them to something you loved. Joanne Oppenheim highly recommends ``The People Who Could Fly,'' in which James Earl Jones and Virginia Hamilton narrate a dozen of the best black folk tales from her collection. (The 75-minute tape and book are $15 from Knopf.)

Of course, the kids may argue about which story to listen to, but that's another column.

Another solution to stop the whining is to start everyone singing. If your gang needs some help getting started, Vicki Lansky is among those who offer a tape of familiar travel tunes including ``Comin' Round the Mountain,'' ``On Top of Old Smokey'' and ``Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.'' (The 30-minute tape with words to the songs is $9.95; call 800-255-3379.)

Two others from the Music for Little People catalog that Oppenheim recommends: an all-star country collection called ``Big Country'' with songs by Randy Travis, Crystal Gayle and more; and ``A Child's Celebration of Showtunes'' with some of the most famous songs from ``Oliver,'' ``Fiddler on the Roof'' and ``The King and I.'' (Prices start at $9.95. Call 800-727-2233 to order.)

If there are budding rock stars along, suggest they make a tape of favorite sing-along songs with their own lyrics. The only drawback is that they may not want you to play any other tunes.

Hand-held electronic games are bound to satisfy the older troops, for a while anyway. I like ``Lights Out,'' which Games Magazine named the best puzzle of '96. The object is to turn all of the lights out of the electronic puzzle but the possibilities are endless. The game includes more than 1,000 different puzzles of various levels of difficulty (Tiger Electronics, $19.99).

We don't always need electronic bells and whistles, though, as the phenomenal success of Brain Quest cards has proven. The colorful card decks full of queries ``to challenge the mind'' are designed for specific age groups from preschool on up. Consider the newest ``After School Sports Brain Quest'' and ``After School Weird Stuff,'' both for grades 4-6 and each containing 800 questions and answers (Workman Publishing, $10.95).

I'm planning to toss the Sports Quest at my favorite fan on our next long trip. Do you know who was the first pitcher to win 100 games in both major leagues? Cy Young.

There's one more way to chase the back-seat blues: Start a conversation with the kids. Just ask Joanne Oppenheim.

``The car was the one place in the world where we did a lot of talking,'' she said. ``They got my attention, but I got theirs, too. It was found time.''

(Look for new books from HarperCollins West: ``A Kid's Guide to Vacation Fun in the Rocky Mountains'' and, for parents, ``Are We There Yet?'')